An Ode to P5

(ok, not an ode, in fact, it barely qualifies as writing curse you…)

Why do you have plague us,
With parasites and such,
I’m trying to top some meters here,
This side thing’s just too much.

‘specially Chutoi’s big cow butt,
A bovine behind’s a drag,
He gets half way to Afriel
oh man, he starts to lag!

but don’t worry my infected friends,
we’ve got you all but covered,
uh-oh Afriel just went kasploot,
‘cuz on her Gin had hovered.

And now what is it, oh it’s fire?
Original and new!
Don’t strain yourself you Blizzard folk,
With finding something to…

Burn our tanks and make them run,
in circles they are led,
A fireball just hit Taio’s toe,
oh big surprise, he’s dead.

Well if we’re going to have to wipe,
at least they had the grace,
To smash our tanks with lasers
that were fired from outerspace

But somehow we all stumble
into phase (I think it’s three?)
Oh good, look it’s more parasites,
Did they just hit a tree?

Ah heck, I think it’s Mourninstar,
A check and yep it’s true,
That last log was a disconnect
And now it’s up to you…

…all to run like hell! She’s gonna blow!
And spew bugs all around,
I guess it’s up to mages now,
To freeze them to the ground.

How did we get to this phase 4
I guess we’ll never know.
(it’s like a kind of torture,
to have to watch this show

Hey that’s no Muppet over there
What’s warlock Stertly tanking?
A giant shadow Illidan,
that’s giving him a spanking!

I think it’s time to kick some butt,
hey what the heck, can’t move!
And now a demon heads this way
Uhh.. guys I think that you’ve…

…got to stop him ‘fore he gets here,
or he’ll turn me to a mess,
Why isn’t Hopkins shooting?
(Out of arrows is my guess…)

Now Throt has gone and done it,
what’s that resounding thunk?
He ran too close to Stertly,
Stormrage kicked him in the junk…

But hey, what’s this, thirty percent
surely, this cannot be?
We’ve found ourselves in last phase (five!)
And here I thought that we…

…had gone and wiped ourselves again,
oops, think I spoke too soon,
we tried to use that lousy trap,
and now this stupid goon…

…has squashed our tank, look now he’s free!
I watch my guildmates tumble,
we walked in with a swagger,
but it’s turned into a stumble.

I think that Bizzam jinxed us,
when he made that stupid bet,
but we’ll be back sometime next week,
and beat this bastard yet.

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