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Calzowned, ICC and You…

icecrowncitadel After an eventful past 6 months we have seen our family grow again with a rebuilding of sorts that has allowed us to continue to be the progression guild we have always been known for.  We are still casual in that we only raid two nights a week, but our efforts are not unnoticed as we have been moving forward since the release of new content.  We made steady progress into Ulduar where we stopped in to visit Yogg Saron and as you can see not exactly the blind date we had in mind. We were told that Yogg would be the girl of our dreams (If Girls Played WoW).  So we passed for now as we had just had lunch and didn’t want the image that Yogg had left in our heads to follow us the rest of the day.  How will we forget the worst blind date ever, I mean it reminds me of the time we caught Doctabrick hitting on that girl in Booty Bay after Brewfest. I mean hey, maybe girl meant (Guy In Real Life), but hey you can always take her home to meet grandma and play with the cat I guess.

Next our journey led us to the northern peaks of Ice Crown where someone thought it would be fun to have a tournament so nerds can rage and ride different kinds of animals all day.  Once there we found ourselves drawn to fight at the promise of getting to see to Val’kyr Twins.  First thing I thought was that the game had finally decided it was time to show a little girl on girl action.  I mean who else didn’t think these twins would be like Swedish twins. But to our dismay these two twins were not interested in having us just watch so we had to slap them around a bit and send them home sadder then we were.  After we had slapped the twins around we were visited by their pimp the Lich King. He goes on to let us in on the fact that someone was stupid enough to build this tourney on top of a WoW Roach motel and now we have to visit the manager.  So as we fall through the floor we see the water below and figure at least the landing will be soft.  That is until Sullanciri decides that Path of Frost would be cool, needless to say it wasn’t. In the words of Chutoi “That will cost you Karma”.  Don’t get me wrong I laughed my ass off, but really if you didn’t at least smile you must be dead.  Wait you all were hahaha.  Ok I am good.  When we finally got up and going again we found out that the manager of this Roach Motel was some guy named Anub’arak.  It took a couple of visits to exterminate this NY sized roach, but once again Calzowned showed that we are masochists who love punishment and we kind of know what we are doing.


We have now lived through the first week of a new patch and have started our journey into ICC.  ICC is like that old house up on the hill you should stay away from and you know it, but you just can’t so we ventured through the front doors unannounced and found out that we are in for a treat.  The fights here finally make it feel like raiding again.  I mean there is a little bit of trash here and there and we have to coordinate the pulls again and that is something we haven’t done in way to long.  Priests can use shackle again and man are pallys going to be OP in here with all this dead walking around.  So yes RuffoBrick will feel huge (when we don’t make him tank) and OMFG can you imaging having to hear Doctabrick say how leet he is in his LawLbringer gear (Because you know he has it in his bags).  Through some hard work and sleepless nights because all you hear in your dreams is “I’m on a spike god damn it, someone kill this thing” and “hahaha, spiked and in the fire, that is great.”  All of which will lead to Nas calling for a wipe and being the only one who was ready to die (unless of course you were DI’d on a GOD DAMN SPIKE) hahaha fun times will be had in here and I’m sure some of them will hurt the pocket book, so you should all feel free to FARM because its easy to make some money and get some gear to help us help you!!!


  • Laok is sad that Locks got nerfed

  • Nas is trying Boomkin (Somewhere God is laughing)

  • My GF thinks that DoctaBrick is a Old Cat Lady

  • Do some daily dungeons for repair gold and badge gear. (Help us, help you)

  • Read forums (Mourn and Sull have some good info about upcoming fights)

  • Congrats to the new Calzowned parents

  • Welcome new recruits and members


So quiet!

Yeah, so besides the actual release of Wrath and all the new content to explore, there’s not really much to say is there?  The raid content in Wrath so far has been quite easy.

We’ve had a few ups and downs since Wrath came out, but we’re still plodding along.  

The important thing is that we’re still here and still progressing!  We haven’t downed Sarth3D yet, but so goes.  We are however recruiting players to fill out our ranks as we prepare for Ulduar.  We are especially looking for healers of all flavors, but we are open to all mature, easy going players.

A Brief Raid Interlude

Somewhere, deep in the bowels of the Blizzard Entertainment Command Bunker…

Blizzard Employee #37: Sir, we have a problem.

Blizzard Raid Development Engineer, middle grade (class II): <Sighs> What is it now, 37?

#37: We’ve received a call from an angry player sir, a mage.

BRDE:mg (II): An angry mage eh, there’s a shocker. Transfer ‘m down to the mage class mental torment R & D division, they’ll take care of it.

#37: Actually sir, he’s calling to complain about his Guild, and the sorry state of our raid encounters… he called us “pansies” sir <cringes away from BRDE:mg(II)>

angry silence falls over the bunker.

BRDE:mg (II): <glares at 37> Pansies?

#37: Uh, yeah. He said his guild keeps beating our encounters… we’re not making them tough enough.

BRDE:mg (II): That’s absurd! He’s absurd! Tell him he’s absurd! His guild is probably a bunch of mountain-dew chugging, hunch-backed toe sweaters who’ve sacrificed everything to the angry raid gods to feed their item ilevel addiction, that doesn’t count!

#37: He, umm…, says they’re a “casual” guild sir. They keep beating our BT bosses the first night they try them .

BRDE:mg (II): Akama doesn’t count, you know what we did with the hopeless incompetent that designed that sorry excuse for a raid boss.

#37: No sir, he said last week it was Bloodboil, and this week it was Reliquary. Just to rub it in, he said they’ll probably go ahead and finish Mother this Sunday because they haven’t really got anything better to do.

BRDE:mg (II): By Archimonde’s pee-stained tighty whities! What the hell is his problem anyway?!?

#37 : He can’t play Wednesdays, sir.

BRDE:mg (II): Can’t. Play. Wednesdays?

#37: No sir. He says that on Tuesdays, they farm all the earlier bosses they’ve done before, then on Wednesdays his guild kills the next new boss. He’s angry because he doesn’t get to participate.

BRDE:mg (II): Doesn’t participate?

#37: He plays twice per week.

BRDE:mg (II): <deflates> Twice per week… what does he think WE can do about this.

#37: Well, for starters, he’s hoping we can turn the difficulty up on Wednesday nights… I believe he said ‘crank her to 11 midweek’, whatever that means; either that, or nerf warlocks, hunters, warriors, and rogues.

BRDE:mg (II): <knowing smile spreads across his face> AHA! Beneath it all, I taste the sweet tang of mage qq tears! 37, patch through to the mage class mental torment R & D division, tell them we’ve got a live one for them.

BRDE:mg (II): Oh, and #37, let’s see if we can’t slow these guys down some… <sinister chuckle>. Call double agent Chutoi and make sure he’s available on Wednesday nights, that should take care of “progression” for a while…

1-2-3, that’s good enough for me.

No, not talking about a rolling stop.

It took exactly three tries to lance the boil on Gurtogg’s hairy…

Well, let’s not go there.

This guild, casual though it may be, has a tendency to blow through the more mundane bosses the moment you blink, and they did it to me again last week. The callous disregard they show for our more temporally overallocated members by first timing bosses hurtses us, yes it does precious.

As such, those of us who can only play two nights per week, may have to start putting out contracts on the Wednesday Nighters in an effort to slow them down, so we get a chance to come out to play too.

So if you happen to know any alliance of questionable ethic and moral fiber, who roam in packs and wouldn’t mind jumping lone Calzowned members on wednesday nights when they have them seriously outnumbered, please send them…

HA! See what I did there! That describes all of you, you alliance pansies! (apologies to Jeskia, who is only a part-time pansy). I’m not going to pay for what I can get for free!

(On the other hand, feel free to gank any and all calzowned members you come across on Wednesdays. Those of us with less free time on our hands may just thank you for it.)

Oh yeah, and congrats on Bloodboil.

I guess.